Today I recieved the usual batch of e-mails. I am sure you get them too. Friends and relatives send political information, touching human interest stories, cute photos of pets and then the odd clean and slightly dirty ( I am a cleaner - so they are never really, really dirty) jokes.
But today, I got a fun Easter related e-mail. I thought I would share it with you.
All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny:
1. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
2.Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
3. There is no such thing as too much candy.
4. All work and no play can make you a basket case
5. Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
6.Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
7. Some body parts should be floppy.
8. Keep your paws off other people's jelly beans. ( and Russell Stover chocolate marshmallow eggs)
9. Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.
10. The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
11. To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.
12. The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.
So Happy Easter and may God bless you all.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Worm Has Turned
Ever wonder where we got the phrase "the worm has turned"? Did you say Shakespeare? Then you were right. It appeared in Shakespeare's Henry VI part III " the smallest worm will turn, being trodden on." Then the phrase meant even the most humble will strike back if abused enough ( remind you of the Tea party or the you tube video of the boy that was being bullied). Like many English words and phrases it evolved over time to its current meaning - the situation has changed. So what does turning worms have to do with dry cleaning? SILK ! Silk is obtained from the cocoons of the larvae of the mulberry silkworm. The two countries that are the largest producers of silk are China and Japan.
Silk is a beautiful and yet fragile fabric. It comes in may forms. It can be smooth or rough. It can be raw, polished or suede. The colors and weaves used for silk fabrics are endless. Silk can be used for wearable fashion and for home fashion.
Silk does have some problems. I'm going to help you look for some of these problems before you plunk down your hard earned money and some that occur from wear. Let's start with one you can avoid before you buy.
YARN SLIPPAGE
Yarn slippage looks like puckering or separation between the fibers. It is caused by the yarns slipping apart or seam separation. The fabric will have a rippled or distorted effect and appear thinner. It can appear any where on the fabric. The yarns are not broken but have slipped across the warp yarn. How can you tell before you buy? Hold the garment up to a light - you will see areas where the yarns have a slight separation. You will notice that the yarns don't look straight but slightly wavy. These areas will eventually pucker and will become holes. So before you buy a silk blouse, shirt, dress or whatever - hold it up to light. ( sound like Poltergeist - "look into the light")
MYSTERIOUS HOLES
Sometimes relatively new silk garments will show holes or tears for no apparent reason.The damage appears as a local loss of fibers or tears on the fabric. Sometimes there will be a visable discoloration in the weakened area. ( in whites it will appear yellow - in colors it will appear a lighter shade than the original color). This is caused by chloride salts. chloride slats are found in perspiration and deodorants. Chloride salts are also found in many foods, beverages,skin lotions .medicines and table salt or salt water. When the solution dies, the moisture evaporates out, but the salt residue remains int eh fabric and starts the chemical process that degrades the silk. So does this mean - don't wear silk in Texas in the summer. NO! it means get the silk cleaned after wearing and make sure the cleaner pays attention to the underarms and any area you may have spilled liquid on. Just because you don't see the stain after it dried doesn't mean it's still not there. ( once again think Poltergeist - just when you think the ghosts are gone - they rear their ugly heads - and haunt you - stains not removed will haunt your silk and make holes)
COLOR FAILURE
You know what this looks like - the dye in an area is lighter or just gone. The dyes on silk are fragile. That is why your cleaners charges more - it takes time, patience , and knowledge to work on silks. Do NOT RUB SILK. What does that mean? OK - picture this - You are sitting at a restaurant and you spill white wine on your blouse or shirt. You quickly grab your napkin and dunk into your water glass and rub stain and it's gone. But so is the dye. when you look down that area will look lighter or once it's cleaned it will lighter. This may be able fixed by a knowledgeable dry cleaner( no promises) but if it can be corrected - it will need that done every time its cleaned. NEVER RUB SILK. ( oh while we at it - the napkin dabbing thing - yes I've done it - but never never never do that with an oil-based stain e.g butter or salad dressing)
Silk dyes can be solvent soluble or water soluble. That means some dyes on silks cannot be washed and some cannot be dry cleaned. How do you know? If you've been reading this blog - this is an easy one - read the care label. So what happens if you don't follow the care label - over-all fading.
Silk fabrics are more prone to fading from light exposure than most fabrics. This is especially true for bright,vivid colors ( blues, greens and purples). This can be caused by sunlight, strong artificial light, and ultraviolet light. ( I have never understood why a builder puts a window in a closet - can you say light fading on all your clothes)Light fading can happen with even minimal exposure to to the light source. Never place a silk in direct exposure to light. ( silk drapes with no lining or sheers - bad idea!)
SPLITS
We are not talking about those painful legs stretching things that cheerleaders do but lengthwise ( I guess kind of like those cheerleader legs) in the fabric . The thin warp yarns are broken and thicker filling yarns remain intact. This happens from the stress of wear and can be aggravated by by the cleaning process. If this happens it needs to be returned - the manufacturer needs to balance the yarns during construction.
So now you know - silk is a great fabric but one that needs special care. It can be soft and shiny or when raw nubby and rough. It is versatile. You can wear it or your windows can be draped in it. Beautiful rugs are constructed from it. Silk was first used in China in 3500BC. Any fabric that old - has really got something going for it. So enjoy the fabric that was once only for Chinese emperors and empresses.
Silk is a beautiful and yet fragile fabric. It comes in may forms. It can be smooth or rough. It can be raw, polished or suede. The colors and weaves used for silk fabrics are endless. Silk can be used for wearable fashion and for home fashion.
Silk does have some problems. I'm going to help you look for some of these problems before you plunk down your hard earned money and some that occur from wear. Let's start with one you can avoid before you buy.
YARN SLIPPAGE
Yarn slippage looks like puckering or separation between the fibers. It is caused by the yarns slipping apart or seam separation. The fabric will have a rippled or distorted effect and appear thinner. It can appear any where on the fabric. The yarns are not broken but have slipped across the warp yarn. How can you tell before you buy? Hold the garment up to a light - you will see areas where the yarns have a slight separation. You will notice that the yarns don't look straight but slightly wavy. These areas will eventually pucker and will become holes. So before you buy a silk blouse, shirt, dress or whatever - hold it up to light. ( sound like Poltergeist - "look into the light")
MYSTERIOUS HOLES
Sometimes relatively new silk garments will show holes or tears for no apparent reason.The damage appears as a local loss of fibers or tears on the fabric. Sometimes there will be a visable discoloration in the weakened area. ( in whites it will appear yellow - in colors it will appear a lighter shade than the original color). This is caused by chloride salts. chloride slats are found in perspiration and deodorants. Chloride salts are also found in many foods, beverages,skin lotions .medicines and table salt or salt water. When the solution dies, the moisture evaporates out, but the salt residue remains int eh fabric and starts the chemical process that degrades the silk. So does this mean - don't wear silk in Texas in the summer. NO! it means get the silk cleaned after wearing and make sure the cleaner pays attention to the underarms and any area you may have spilled liquid on. Just because you don't see the stain after it dried doesn't mean it's still not there. ( once again think Poltergeist - just when you think the ghosts are gone - they rear their ugly heads - and haunt you - stains not removed will haunt your silk and make holes)
COLOR FAILURE
You know what this looks like - the dye in an area is lighter or just gone. The dyes on silk are fragile. That is why your cleaners charges more - it takes time, patience , and knowledge to work on silks. Do NOT RUB SILK. What does that mean? OK - picture this - You are sitting at a restaurant and you spill white wine on your blouse or shirt. You quickly grab your napkin and dunk into your water glass and rub stain and it's gone. But so is the dye. when you look down that area will look lighter or once it's cleaned it will lighter. This may be able fixed by a knowledgeable dry cleaner( no promises) but if it can be corrected - it will need that done every time its cleaned. NEVER RUB SILK. ( oh while we at it - the napkin dabbing thing - yes I've done it - but never never never do that with an oil-based stain e.g butter or salad dressing)
Silk dyes can be solvent soluble or water soluble. That means some dyes on silks cannot be washed and some cannot be dry cleaned. How do you know? If you've been reading this blog - this is an easy one - read the care label. So what happens if you don't follow the care label - over-all fading.
Silk fabrics are more prone to fading from light exposure than most fabrics. This is especially true for bright,vivid colors ( blues, greens and purples). This can be caused by sunlight, strong artificial light, and ultraviolet light. ( I have never understood why a builder puts a window in a closet - can you say light fading on all your clothes)Light fading can happen with even minimal exposure to to the light source. Never place a silk in direct exposure to light. ( silk drapes with no lining or sheers - bad idea!)
SPLITS
We are not talking about those painful legs stretching things that cheerleaders do but lengthwise ( I guess kind of like those cheerleader legs) in the fabric . The thin warp yarns are broken and thicker filling yarns remain intact. This happens from the stress of wear and can be aggravated by by the cleaning process. If this happens it needs to be returned - the manufacturer needs to balance the yarns during construction.
So now you know - silk is a great fabric but one that needs special care. It can be soft and shiny or when raw nubby and rough. It is versatile. You can wear it or your windows can be draped in it. Beautiful rugs are constructed from it. Silk was first used in China in 3500BC. Any fabric that old - has really got something going for it. So enjoy the fabric that was once only for Chinese emperors and empresses.
Monday, February 21, 2011
The 10% Rule
We've all heard that the average person only uses 10% of their brain. This is a myth. Just look at a brain scan. I know we have all met some one we were convinced only used 10% of their brains but sadly they were really using all their brain. They just didn't have much of a brain. But this year the 10% rule will apply to clothes. The cost of clothes will be going up at least 10%.
Why the rise in the cost of clothes?The price of cotton has more than doubled in the last year. The price of cotton has hit an all time high. This is good for the farmers in South Texas but bad for the end user ( you and I). The price of synthetic fabrics has jumped 50% as demand for alternatives has risen. This may be good time to explain the difference between natural and synthetic fibers.
Natural fibers are found in nature, they come from animal and vegetable sources. Synthetic fibers are manufactured fibers and fibers created by scientist including some manufactured from cellulose and wood pulp. Is one better than the other - no. They have different properties but both natural and synthetic fibers have advantages and disadvantages. So how do you choose which to buy - check the care label. The best advice is to buy whatever you can afford to care of. One thing that those of in South Texas may want to remember , natural fibers tend to be cooler as it allows better air flow.
Some natural fibers are cotton, linen, ramie, silk, wool, bamboo, jute, hemp, and sisal.
We all know cotton - the iconic blue jean. If you have ever driven I-37 to Corpus Christi - you've seen cotton growing in the fields. Cotton grows in the seed pod of the cotton plant. Cotton is the second strongest natural fiber. Cotton has been used in fabric since 5,000 B.C. in Egypt. ( yes I used B.C. and not B.C.E.) Cotton takes dyes well allowing for a wide range of colors. Even though the cotton ball seems white -once it is made into fabric it has an optical brightener to make it appear whiter. So wondering if the unrest in Egypt is going to effect you? The answer is yes, Egyptian cotton is used to make some the best sheets and shirts.( gentleman please take note - if you like heavy starch -stay away from Egyptian cotton - it gets softer with wear and washings unlike Texas king cotton).
Linen is the vegetable fiber from the woody stem of the flax plant. Linen has been around as long as cotton and was popular with the Egyptian Pharaohs. Linen is cool and absorbent but it wrinkles easily.
Ramie is from a plant similar to flax. The plant is grown in China. ( which explains all the made in China labels on ramie.)
Silk is from the cocoon of the silk worm. It was the fiber of the Chinese Emperors.The legend of silk is the concubine of an Emperor Yuen Fei dropped a cocoon into hot teas 2600 B.C. and it unraveled into silk fibers.Silk was a guarded secret in China for 3,000 years. The dye on silks can be very delicate.
Wool is the strongest natural fiber. It is breathable,hard wearing and can be soft or scratchy. Wool is the hair from a number of different animals ,most commonly sheep. If you are allergic to animals - you can be allergic to wool.
Now for the synthetic fibers...Acetate, acrylic,microfiber,nylon,polyester and rayon
Acetate is both natural and synthetic. It is composed of refined plant cellulose or wood pulp and acetic acid. It is long wearing ans resists wrinkling.
Acrylic is derived by polyacrylonitrile. Acrylic has a wool-like feel but lacks wool's insulating properties.Acrylic stretches easily - and pure acrylic cannot be steamed. Acrylic also pills easily. But if blended with natural fibers it is very durable.
Microfiber is a generic term for any synthetic fiber finer than silk. Currently, there are four types of microfibers being produced - they are acrylic,nylon,polyester and rayon. Microfiber is 100 times finer than a human hair.
Nylon was invented by DuPont in 1938.Nylon was the first completely synthetic fiber created. Nylon is very strong and flexible. nylon wears well and resists static electricity.But nylon is not breathable. Nylon makes great umbrellas and parachutes.
Polyester the fiber of the 60's and 70's. ( remember the polyester suit worn by Herb on WKRP in Cincinnati ?). Polyester is short strands of fiber bonded together. It dries quickly. It is fade resistant, abrasion resistant and doesn't wrinkle during wear. But polyester will retain permanent wrinkles if dried in high heat. Do not dry polyester in your home dryer.
Rayon is regenerated cellulose.rayon is made from regenerated wood pulp, cotton linters or other vegetable matter. Rayon is a manufactured fiber that uses natural materials. Rayon was invented in 1910. rayon does not do well in high humidity as dampness can cause shrinkage. The sizing used in rayon are often water soluble and leave the areas that get damp darker. This can cause the rayon to look stained. So don't go "walking in the rain with one you love" wearing a rayon dress or shirt .
So now you know the difference between natural and synthetic fibers. But no matter which you choose these will both cost you more.Higher cost will affect how clothes are made. Clothing makers are using more synthetics and designers will use less beads and embellishments. You may also notice less color choices. Bad weather in August of 2010 cut harvests in major cotton producing countries including China, the U.S. ,Pakistan and Australia.Restrictions on exports from India ,the worlds second largest cotton exporter behind China have also lead to the higher prices. During the recession many Chinese factories were shut down. So all this is leading to the higher costs.
What can you do? Take care of the clothes you already have. Never put anything away dirty. Even if you don't see a stain - if you know you spilled something on your clothes - clean them. Those stains will up later. Read care labels. Make sure you know exactly how to take care of your garments. When buying new garments - read the care label. Can you clean this ? Can anyone clean this? Does this require special care? Can I afford to take care of this garment? As Dad always said "when times get tough -the tough get going" Be tough - make sure you know exactly what you are buying and make sure you or your favorite dry cleaner ( ME) can take care of it. If the seafood restaurant offers that cheesy plastic bib - wear it. Make sure your winter wools are properly stored this season - now is not the time to surrender to moths and silver fish. You can do this . I can help. But get tough - know what you are buying and then take care of them. Well made clothes can last decades ( if you stay away from the latest fad and stick to the classics). I have some sweaters ( yes they still fit) that are over 20 years old. My secret - proper care. I have dresses ( some don't fit - but I keep them to encourage me to exercise) that are 30 years old. They all look perfect - proper care. So get tough - take care of your clothes and they really can last for decades.
Why the rise in the cost of clothes?The price of cotton has more than doubled in the last year. The price of cotton has hit an all time high. This is good for the farmers in South Texas but bad for the end user ( you and I). The price of synthetic fabrics has jumped 50% as demand for alternatives has risen. This may be good time to explain the difference between natural and synthetic fibers.
Natural fibers are found in nature, they come from animal and vegetable sources. Synthetic fibers are manufactured fibers and fibers created by scientist including some manufactured from cellulose and wood pulp. Is one better than the other - no. They have different properties but both natural and synthetic fibers have advantages and disadvantages. So how do you choose which to buy - check the care label. The best advice is to buy whatever you can afford to care of. One thing that those of in South Texas may want to remember , natural fibers tend to be cooler as it allows better air flow.
Some natural fibers are cotton, linen, ramie, silk, wool, bamboo, jute, hemp, and sisal.
We all know cotton - the iconic blue jean. If you have ever driven I-37 to Corpus Christi - you've seen cotton growing in the fields. Cotton grows in the seed pod of the cotton plant. Cotton is the second strongest natural fiber. Cotton has been used in fabric since 5,000 B.C. in Egypt. ( yes I used B.C. and not B.C.E.) Cotton takes dyes well allowing for a wide range of colors. Even though the cotton ball seems white -once it is made into fabric it has an optical brightener to make it appear whiter. So wondering if the unrest in Egypt is going to effect you? The answer is yes, Egyptian cotton is used to make some the best sheets and shirts.( gentleman please take note - if you like heavy starch -stay away from Egyptian cotton - it gets softer with wear and washings unlike Texas king cotton).
Linen is the vegetable fiber from the woody stem of the flax plant. Linen has been around as long as cotton and was popular with the Egyptian Pharaohs. Linen is cool and absorbent but it wrinkles easily.
Ramie is from a plant similar to flax. The plant is grown in China. ( which explains all the made in China labels on ramie.)
Silk is from the cocoon of the silk worm. It was the fiber of the Chinese Emperors.The legend of silk is the concubine of an Emperor Yuen Fei dropped a cocoon into hot teas 2600 B.C. and it unraveled into silk fibers.Silk was a guarded secret in China for 3,000 years. The dye on silks can be very delicate.
Wool is the strongest natural fiber. It is breathable,hard wearing and can be soft or scratchy. Wool is the hair from a number of different animals ,most commonly sheep. If you are allergic to animals - you can be allergic to wool.
Now for the synthetic fibers...Acetate, acrylic,microfiber,nylon,polyester and rayon
Acetate is both natural and synthetic. It is composed of refined plant cellulose or wood pulp and acetic acid. It is long wearing ans resists wrinkling.
Acrylic is derived by polyacrylonitrile. Acrylic has a wool-like feel but lacks wool's insulating properties.Acrylic stretches easily - and pure acrylic cannot be steamed. Acrylic also pills easily. But if blended with natural fibers it is very durable.
Microfiber is a generic term for any synthetic fiber finer than silk. Currently, there are four types of microfibers being produced - they are acrylic,nylon,polyester and rayon. Microfiber is 100 times finer than a human hair.
Nylon was invented by DuPont in 1938.Nylon was the first completely synthetic fiber created. Nylon is very strong and flexible. nylon wears well and resists static electricity.But nylon is not breathable. Nylon makes great umbrellas and parachutes.
Polyester the fiber of the 60's and 70's. ( remember the polyester suit worn by Herb on WKRP in Cincinnati ?). Polyester is short strands of fiber bonded together. It dries quickly. It is fade resistant, abrasion resistant and doesn't wrinkle during wear. But polyester will retain permanent wrinkles if dried in high heat. Do not dry polyester in your home dryer.
Rayon is regenerated cellulose.rayon is made from regenerated wood pulp, cotton linters or other vegetable matter. Rayon is a manufactured fiber that uses natural materials. Rayon was invented in 1910. rayon does not do well in high humidity as dampness can cause shrinkage. The sizing used in rayon are often water soluble and leave the areas that get damp darker. This can cause the rayon to look stained. So don't go "walking in the rain with one you love" wearing a rayon dress or shirt .
So now you know the difference between natural and synthetic fibers. But no matter which you choose these will both cost you more.Higher cost will affect how clothes are made. Clothing makers are using more synthetics and designers will use less beads and embellishments. You may also notice less color choices. Bad weather in August of 2010 cut harvests in major cotton producing countries including China, the U.S. ,Pakistan and Australia.Restrictions on exports from India ,the worlds second largest cotton exporter behind China have also lead to the higher prices. During the recession many Chinese factories were shut down. So all this is leading to the higher costs.
What can you do? Take care of the clothes you already have. Never put anything away dirty. Even if you don't see a stain - if you know you spilled something on your clothes - clean them. Those stains will up later. Read care labels. Make sure you know exactly how to take care of your garments. When buying new garments - read the care label. Can you clean this ? Can anyone clean this? Does this require special care? Can I afford to take care of this garment? As Dad always said "when times get tough -the tough get going" Be tough - make sure you know exactly what you are buying and make sure you or your favorite dry cleaner ( ME) can take care of it. If the seafood restaurant offers that cheesy plastic bib - wear it. Make sure your winter wools are properly stored this season - now is not the time to surrender to moths and silver fish. You can do this . I can help. But get tough - know what you are buying and then take care of them. Well made clothes can last decades ( if you stay away from the latest fad and stick to the classics). I have some sweaters ( yes they still fit) that are over 20 years old. My secret - proper care. I have dresses ( some don't fit - but I keep them to encourage me to exercise) that are 30 years old. They all look perfect - proper care. So get tough - take care of your clothes and they really can last for decades.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Pink Pigs and Purple cows
Pink pigs and purple cows sounds like one of those trippy songs of the 60's. But, it also reminds me of when I was a kid and drawing in the lines was not all that important. I could choose any color from my crayon box to color my world. Trees could be orange and there were pink pigs and purple cows ( the pink cows made strawberry milk and brown cows gave us chocolate milk). So what does pink pigs and purple cows have to do with cleaning? Well, we all agree in the real world - there are no pink pigs and purple cows - so all leather is dyed.Leather is animal skin - so since no pink, green, blue, purple, brown, grey or any other of those 164 colors in the crayon box exist in our animal friends - all leather is dyed.
What types of animals are used to make leather?
The most common is pig skin. One of the ways to tell if a leather is pig skin is by the pores visible on the skin. When looking at the skin you will notice tiny holes on the surface. Pig skin can be used to make leather or suede. (difference between leather and suede - which side of the skin that was used) It is the most common and the usually the least expensive leather.
Sheep - you are probably thinking - What wool is leather? Nope. Wool is a fiber. Wool is the sheared hair from the sheep, cleaned and spun into yarn. But there are sheepskin jackets with the hair attached to the skin. But the skin can also be used to make leather items.
Goat - yep. The skin is pretty tough and thick. It is not very commonly used to make clothing but is excellent for light weight tough clothing like motorcycle wear.
Cow - you've seen cow hide rugs ( come one this is Texas) But cow hide is used for clothing too. Cow hide is very thick - so it is split to to reduce the thickness. But, as the thickness is reduced so is the strength. That is why the rug can take decades of feet walking all over it and your jacket cannot. The most supple and most expensive of the cow skins is calf skin.
Fish - yep even fish are made into leather. No you don't walk around wearing those fish scales - but the skin does keep the imprint of the scales.But, knowing those crazy designers maybe the skin and scales will be the next big thing. Carp is the most common fish used to make leather or suede trims. One small problem with fish - they stink. So never wear your fish in inclement weather - you will smell - well fishy!
So since we all agree - no pink pigs and purple cows - how does leather get all those colors and what color is leather ? OK leather is skin - so it is the color of dried skin - YUCK! But there ya go - it is an unappealing color in it's natural state. So all leather is dyed. Yes, you read that correctly all leather is dyed. But unlike fibers, the dye in leather may not be set. ( remember the earlier blog about salt setting dyes - salt + leather = disaster) So when leather is cleaned it must be re-dyed after cleaning. The leather cleaners has to match the leather garment you have to swatches to re-dye after cleaning.
How do you know if what you have is leather, suede or man -made? Check the label . Real leather will say "Clean by leather method only". But you can also check the backside of the garment. Leather is skin and so the backside of the leather will look like skin. You can check this by peeping under the lining. Man made leathers have a material back and no imperfections. While not required, most garments will have a content label. The content label will say something like 50% cotton 20% acetate etc. A man made leather will say vinyl, nylon or polyester. A real leather will say leather. It will not identify the animal. But it will say leather.
So how is leather cleaned? Very carefully! First before cleaning it is dye matched. Since the dye may not be set - the leather cleaner must match the dye before cleaning to restore it to the original color after cleaning. Is this always possible - honestly no - but every leather cleaner tries their best to return the garment to the original color. There are some stains and spills that can cause permanent damage to leather. Perspiration can discolor or harden the leather. Some ink cannot be completely removed. Oil stains can discolor the leather. Ground in dirt may not be completely removed with out damaging the skin. Blood stains may not be completely removed. Beer and alcohol can cause permanent color damage. Never use a pin on leather ( the hole will not go away unlike cloth) and don't ever put those "Hello my name is" tags on your leather jacket. Better to be incognito than damage your leather.
Leather is skin and skin needs moisturizer. DO NOT PUT YOUR FACE CREAM ON THE LEATHER. The leather cleaner has a specific solvent designed to maintain the garments original appearance. This solvent puts moisturizer back into the skin while cleaning. YOU CANNOT DO THIS YOURSELF. I don't want to hear that some of you heard me say skin needs moisturizer and then slather the stuff yourself all over your jacket.NO NO NO ! But, your leathers and furs are skin - so you must have them cleaned and moisturized - I recommend annually. If you don't have them cleaned - stains will set and the leather or skin may crack . Both will make your leather unusable. But once a leather or fur skin cracks - it's a goner.
Leather is tanned and stretched during the manufacturing process. Therefore, after cleaning leather needs to be re-stretched. But excessive shrinkage can occur after cleaning because excessive tension was used during the manufacturing. Always buy leathers and suede slightly larger to compensate for shrinkage.
Now , lets talk about a typical day in the life of a cow. (I know how this sounds but just go with it ) Mabel( that's our cow) is out in the pasture munching on grass ( well green ground cover that we will refer to as grass - not the stuff in your lawn) . Mabel is wondering along munching away,looking at the ground and then oops she trips over a rock. OUCH! The rock gave her a knock on the knee ( or whatever you call it on a cow). But the ever intrepid Mabel ,shakes it of and keeps moving on. Then Mabel( not the brightest cow in the herd) runs into the barbed wire fence. OUCH! That will cause a scar. But hey Mabel will not be deterred - so off she goes munching along. But poor Mabel now has a couple of bruises and pretty big gash that once it heals will scar. Oh well - Mabel doesn't really care since she already has her bull. Yep, Mabel is a mom to be and whoa - here comes the calf "Hazel". So now Mabel is bruised,scarred and damn she is going to have those stretch marks we ( human ladies) try so hard to get rid of. But hey Mabel is a cow and she already has her bull - so stretch marks - no biggie. So the point of the day in the life of Mabel. If Mabel is your jacket - those bruises,scars, and stretch marks may be disguised during manufacturing but after cleaning may become more visable. Skin , unlike fabric, is not uniform. No leather is perfect. So there can be belly wrinkles, stretch marks, scars bruises, darker or lighter areas ,vein marks and texture variances. After cleaning all of this may be more visible - let's face if you are wearing it - your jacket was probably not the brightest cow in the herd either.
Let's talk salt ( not the Angelina Jolie movie) but Na Cl. ( My high school chem teacher is now beaming with pride - yes, she really did learn something)Salt is not used in the cleaning or manufacturing of leather because it can cause staining of the skin or permanent damage. Salt can be found in food, drinks, urine, deodorants, ice melt and you ( perspiration). Salt will continually absorb moisture from the atmosphere , thus keeping the stained area of the leather damp. The salt stained area can discolor the leather.Salt can also shrink, stiffen and even crack the leather.
No salt = no set dyes. Beware the multi colored leather. Beware the dark leather on the light fabric. If the dye is not set - the dye will bleed. Can the dye be set - of course but chances are ...it is not . So I'm saying if you want a multi-colored leather or a dark and light leather or suede combination - DO NOT SPEND MUCH ON IT. This is a garment you will wear and eventually just throw away. If properly made , they can be cleaned and no problems. But lets be honest they aren't properly made any more - so avoid these or be prepared to wear and toss.
Varsity jackets are not usually leather. The sleeves are normally vinyl. These have their own set of issues. But that's for another day.
So what have we learned. To quote the little mice from the movie "Babe" - "Pigs are stupid." OK maybe we didn't learn that - but pigs are not pink. Cows are not brown. Just because they spent their life in pasture doesn't mean your coat can too. Mabel didn't care what she looked like - but you care what she looks like once she's your jacket. Leather is tough and delicate. It requires specific care. The cleaning process is intricate and longer that regular dry cleaning or washing. Leather care is more expensive than regular dry cleaning. So when you look at a leather jacket ,coat, skirt or rug - remember the cost of cleaning . Never buy anything you cannot afford to maintain. Unless - you get it cheap enough to wear and throw away. But don't you just wish there really were pink pigs and purple cows?
What types of animals are used to make leather?
The most common is pig skin. One of the ways to tell if a leather is pig skin is by the pores visible on the skin. When looking at the skin you will notice tiny holes on the surface. Pig skin can be used to make leather or suede. (difference between leather and suede - which side of the skin that was used) It is the most common and the usually the least expensive leather.
Sheep - you are probably thinking - What wool is leather? Nope. Wool is a fiber. Wool is the sheared hair from the sheep, cleaned and spun into yarn. But there are sheepskin jackets with the hair attached to the skin. But the skin can also be used to make leather items.
Goat - yep. The skin is pretty tough and thick. It is not very commonly used to make clothing but is excellent for light weight tough clothing like motorcycle wear.
Cow - you've seen cow hide rugs ( come one this is Texas) But cow hide is used for clothing too. Cow hide is very thick - so it is split to to reduce the thickness. But, as the thickness is reduced so is the strength. That is why the rug can take decades of feet walking all over it and your jacket cannot. The most supple and most expensive of the cow skins is calf skin.
Fish - yep even fish are made into leather. No you don't walk around wearing those fish scales - but the skin does keep the imprint of the scales.But, knowing those crazy designers maybe the skin and scales will be the next big thing. Carp is the most common fish used to make leather or suede trims. One small problem with fish - they stink. So never wear your fish in inclement weather - you will smell - well fishy!
So since we all agree - no pink pigs and purple cows - how does leather get all those colors and what color is leather ? OK leather is skin - so it is the color of dried skin - YUCK! But there ya go - it is an unappealing color in it's natural state. So all leather is dyed. Yes, you read that correctly all leather is dyed. But unlike fibers, the dye in leather may not be set. ( remember the earlier blog about salt setting dyes - salt + leather = disaster) So when leather is cleaned it must be re-dyed after cleaning. The leather cleaners has to match the leather garment you have to swatches to re-dye after cleaning.
How do you know if what you have is leather, suede or man -made? Check the label . Real leather will say "Clean by leather method only". But you can also check the backside of the garment. Leather is skin and so the backside of the leather will look like skin. You can check this by peeping under the lining. Man made leathers have a material back and no imperfections. While not required, most garments will have a content label. The content label will say something like 50% cotton 20% acetate etc. A man made leather will say vinyl, nylon or polyester. A real leather will say leather. It will not identify the animal. But it will say leather.
So how is leather cleaned? Very carefully! First before cleaning it is dye matched. Since the dye may not be set - the leather cleaner must match the dye before cleaning to restore it to the original color after cleaning. Is this always possible - honestly no - but every leather cleaner tries their best to return the garment to the original color. There are some stains and spills that can cause permanent damage to leather. Perspiration can discolor or harden the leather. Some ink cannot be completely removed. Oil stains can discolor the leather. Ground in dirt may not be completely removed with out damaging the skin. Blood stains may not be completely removed. Beer and alcohol can cause permanent color damage. Never use a pin on leather ( the hole will not go away unlike cloth) and don't ever put those "Hello my name is" tags on your leather jacket. Better to be incognito than damage your leather.
Leather is skin and skin needs moisturizer. DO NOT PUT YOUR FACE CREAM ON THE LEATHER. The leather cleaner has a specific solvent designed to maintain the garments original appearance. This solvent puts moisturizer back into the skin while cleaning. YOU CANNOT DO THIS YOURSELF. I don't want to hear that some of you heard me say skin needs moisturizer and then slather the stuff yourself all over your jacket.NO NO NO ! But, your leathers and furs are skin - so you must have them cleaned and moisturized - I recommend annually. If you don't have them cleaned - stains will set and the leather or skin may crack . Both will make your leather unusable. But once a leather or fur skin cracks - it's a goner.
Leather is tanned and stretched during the manufacturing process. Therefore, after cleaning leather needs to be re-stretched. But excessive shrinkage can occur after cleaning because excessive tension was used during the manufacturing. Always buy leathers and suede slightly larger to compensate for shrinkage.
Now , lets talk about a typical day in the life of a cow. (I know how this sounds but just go with it ) Mabel( that's our cow) is out in the pasture munching on grass ( well green ground cover that we will refer to as grass - not the stuff in your lawn) . Mabel is wondering along munching away,looking at the ground and then oops she trips over a rock. OUCH! The rock gave her a knock on the knee ( or whatever you call it on a cow). But the ever intrepid Mabel ,shakes it of and keeps moving on. Then Mabel( not the brightest cow in the herd) runs into the barbed wire fence. OUCH! That will cause a scar. But hey Mabel will not be deterred - so off she goes munching along. But poor Mabel now has a couple of bruises and pretty big gash that once it heals will scar. Oh well - Mabel doesn't really care since she already has her bull. Yep, Mabel is a mom to be and whoa - here comes the calf "Hazel". So now Mabel is bruised,scarred and damn she is going to have those stretch marks we ( human ladies) try so hard to get rid of. But hey Mabel is a cow and she already has her bull - so stretch marks - no biggie. So the point of the day in the life of Mabel. If Mabel is your jacket - those bruises,scars, and stretch marks may be disguised during manufacturing but after cleaning may become more visable. Skin , unlike fabric, is not uniform. No leather is perfect. So there can be belly wrinkles, stretch marks, scars bruises, darker or lighter areas ,vein marks and texture variances. After cleaning all of this may be more visible - let's face if you are wearing it - your jacket was probably not the brightest cow in the herd either.
Let's talk salt ( not the Angelina Jolie movie) but Na Cl. ( My high school chem teacher is now beaming with pride - yes, she really did learn something)Salt is not used in the cleaning or manufacturing of leather because it can cause staining of the skin or permanent damage. Salt can be found in food, drinks, urine, deodorants, ice melt and you ( perspiration). Salt will continually absorb moisture from the atmosphere , thus keeping the stained area of the leather damp. The salt stained area can discolor the leather.Salt can also shrink, stiffen and even crack the leather.
No salt = no set dyes. Beware the multi colored leather. Beware the dark leather on the light fabric. If the dye is not set - the dye will bleed. Can the dye be set - of course but chances are ...it is not . So I'm saying if you want a multi-colored leather or a dark and light leather or suede combination - DO NOT SPEND MUCH ON IT. This is a garment you will wear and eventually just throw away. If properly made , they can be cleaned and no problems. But lets be honest they aren't properly made any more - so avoid these or be prepared to wear and toss.
Varsity jackets are not usually leather. The sleeves are normally vinyl. These have their own set of issues. But that's for another day.
So what have we learned. To quote the little mice from the movie "Babe" - "Pigs are stupid." OK maybe we didn't learn that - but pigs are not pink. Cows are not brown. Just because they spent their life in pasture doesn't mean your coat can too. Mabel didn't care what she looked like - but you care what she looks like once she's your jacket. Leather is tough and delicate. It requires specific care. The cleaning process is intricate and longer that regular dry cleaning or washing. Leather care is more expensive than regular dry cleaning. So when you look at a leather jacket ,coat, skirt or rug - remember the cost of cleaning . Never buy anything you cannot afford to maintain. Unless - you get it cheap enough to wear and throw away. But don't you just wish there really were pink pigs and purple cows?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Goodbye 2010 Hello Twenty Eleven
Another year is gone and now we start all over. So this blog is assorted stuff that happened this year. Some of it will relate to clothes but some of it is just plain strange. So allow me to let you in to that portion of my brain that finds this stuff amusing.
Words. yes, you read that right -words. For some reason each year about this time - some one feels the need to let us know there are new words, popular words and the word of the year. Hence, the twenty eleven in the title of this blog. Apparently that is what we will all be calling the next year. According to the Global Language Monitor ( can you believe that group exists? I think it's a guy in his undies typing on his computer but ....he and or they made Reuters) the world has " moved away from disagreement over how to pronounce the first years of the decade"( did you know there was a disagreement? I feel foolish - I didn't) But next year is twenty eleven. So get with the program and start saying it right - no need to continue the disagreement. ( Don't we have better things to fight over?) And the top words - Obama -mess and Palinism. But here's an irionic twist - the word of the year is a Palinism - refudiate.
And once again, this time of year brings out the best careers for next year. Yeah, like we are all going to suddenly be able to get one of these jobs. This list comes from the Labor Department and Challenger, Gray and Christmas. And to quote Gomer Pyle " surprise ,surprise , surprise" dry cleaner is not on the list. But here are some of the best careers for 2011: Accountant ( not so shocking since we don't know the taxes for next year)meeting planner, commercial pilot, curator, heating,air conditioning and refrigeration technician, athletetic trainer,school psychologist, emergency management specialist, urban planner, firefighter, hydrologist, meteorologist,and biomedical engineer. See, like we can all just go on over to the airport and say -"hey I'm applying for the pilot job " or head over to fire department and yell " hand me the hose boys ". So here's my thinking the best job for 2011 - is the one you've got.
Speaking of jobs - did you know how hard a clown works? Well, performers in New York's traveling Bindlestiff Family Circus protested in October against the political language referring to Washington D.C. Kinko the Clown was upset about referring to D.C. as a circus and said " Before you call anyone in Washington a clown, consider how hard a clown works."( I cannot improve on that one - I mean when clowns are insulted by us for comparing them to politicians - what could I possibly say to improve on that) And clowns = politician . Yep, Grumpy, a professional clown was elected by a resounding vote to the Brazilian Congress from Sao Paulo in October. Grumpy's slogan was "It Can't Get Any Worse". So don't call politicians clowns unless they really are ,in fact, clowns.
The $110 billion dollar new $100. What? Well, the Federal Reserve ( Ron Paul will love this) designed a new high -tech $100. To combat counterfeiting the bill had a 3-D secruity ribbon. Sounds good right? However, the bills crease during printing leaving blank places on the new bill. Needless, to say they cannot be use - so now $110 billion of $100's are in quarantine ( their words not mine). So the notes cannot be put in circulation but are sitting in lockup in Fort Worth and Washington D.C. How much was QE-2 supposed to inject into the economy? Maybe this is God's way of saying " Ben Bernanke - Do not print money you don't have" Oh , Ron Paul , next year will be oodles fun for you.
The FBI has issued a "cyber crime alert" for Barbie. No, this is not a joke - Barbie is on the FBI list. "Barbie Video Girl" could be a possible child pornography production method. The $49.99 Barbie was nominated for 2011 Toy of Year. Barbie has a video camers built in her. So girls can record video from dolls -eye view and then watch it on the LCD screen on Barbie's back or upload the video to a computer. Has Barbie been used for child porn - nope. Steve Dupre from the FBI Sacremento field office said " there have been no incidents of this doll being used as anything other than its intent. So why the alert? I guess poor Barbie with her outrageously curvy body that gives young girls unrealistic expectations and body dismorphia is now really a porno queen. My thought - I had a Barbie and I still have a realistic view of my body - ( chubby and as I grow older things are moving south much like the U.S. population) So why give creeps and idea that they surely would have never thought of themselves. Sometimes, Barbie is just a Barbie and she always just a doll.
Green news ..... Want a cheap way to keep that Christmas tree lit? Get an eel. Yes, an eco -friendly electric eel can light your tree. In Kamakura, Japan an electric eel at the aquarium has been lighting the tree for 5 years. Each time the eel moves, two aluminum panels gather enough electricity to light up the 6 foot tall tree. Visitor Sumie Chibe found it fascinating but questioned the practicality of eel eregy for domestic use. A big DUH !!!!!! to that ,Ms. Chiba.
And now fashion news and other icky things to do with clothes and clothing care. In an aticle on "Sneaky Reasons You Get Zits" one sneaky reason was your pillowcase and towel. Your face lies on that pillowcase for hours and if it's not clean you are pressing in dead skin and bacteria onto your skin. GROSS! If your towel is dirty (even if you are shower -clean) you're wiping germs on your face. So , the International Dermal Institute, suggests changing your pillowcases once or twice a week and changing your towel daily. ( I feel it necessary to interject - we clean and press those pillowcases and kill all those nasty germs and bacteria .And because we use products you cannot and press them at a higher temperature that you can at home - well if I was doing your Pillowcases you could cross this off the Zit list)
Do you use fabric softeners and dryer sheets? Also on the the sneaky zit list. Why? The stuff that makes your clothes softer is tallow. And what is tallow? Tallow is ....... ANIMAL FAT. So needless to say wiping animal fat all over your face is not a great idea. Oh, let's be honest who in the hell wants to sleep with or wear animal fat?
The answer to Who wants to wear animal fat is ........ Lady Gaga . Ok but not not just fat - real meat. Yes, apparently Lady Gaga wore a meat dress to the VMAs. By meat dress ,I mean real meat like at the butcher case in the grocery. When asked why she said " Well, it is certainly no disprect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian. As you know, I am the most judgement-free human being on the earth. However, it has many interpreatations but for me this evening. If we don't 't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And, I am not a peice of meat." If none of that made sense to you - well join the club. So , I wonder if meat and produce dresses will catch on. I ponder this because I know some damn idiot will pay $5000 for a carrot top dress and then bring it to me for cleaning. ( you knew I couldn't end the year with out mentioning care labels) So can you imagine what that must have smelled like under all those lights? I guess the care label would read "BBQ after use." So I guess hats off ( yes, she had a meat hat, purse and shoes) to Lady Gaga for the tastiest dress and raw talent.
Under the oooh!ICK! file. Ghana plans to enforce a ban on the sale of second- hand underwear. Remember the song Second Hand Rose - well doesn't this put new meaning to that? In Accra, the capital of Ghanna street vendors sell second -hand undies. Believe it or not, vendors are upset by the enforceement of the 1994 ban. "People patronise my goods because they are not expensive as compared to the new ones in the market,"said Kwesi QAmin. "The government must consider the plight of the poor and change their decision." O.k. - what more can one say other than Ick !!!
And now on to the TSA. Since the introduction of the nudie scanners or the TSA feel-up, we have seen fly-wear. Yep, (maybe that should be on the list of 2010 words) scantily dressed folks with nothing left covered to conceal anything. You've seen the pictures of the lady wearing a bra and panties in her wheel chair or guys in the fruit of looms. So maybe there should be a seperate line at airport for folks wearing fly-wear. If you wear someting that ,as my mama used to say, leaves nothing to the imagination , maybe the TSA should just send you on through. Just a thought. But for those of us whose bikini days are long behind us ( because our long behind would frighten other passengers), there are scanner -proof undies. Yep if you are worried about those new security scanners filming your privates - there are new anti-radiation underwear. Colorado company, Rocky Flats Gear, sells undies with a fig leaf over your sensitvie areas. The fig leaves block natural and man - made radiation. According to the company web site www.rockyflatsgear.com " The technology insures privacy of medical and body scanner images". So, if you don't want any one touching your "junk" - you can wear nothing but your skivvies or you can wear scanner-proof skivvies.
And that friends, is the crazy corner of mind. As we end 2010 - this is the weird, wild and wacky stuff that caught my attention. So before this becomes and Obama-mess and I am forced to refudiate all of the above nuttiness - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year .
Words. yes, you read that right -words. For some reason each year about this time - some one feels the need to let us know there are new words, popular words and the word of the year. Hence, the twenty eleven in the title of this blog. Apparently that is what we will all be calling the next year. According to the Global Language Monitor ( can you believe that group exists? I think it's a guy in his undies typing on his computer but ....he and or they made Reuters) the world has " moved away from disagreement over how to pronounce the first years of the decade"( did you know there was a disagreement? I feel foolish - I didn't) But next year is twenty eleven. So get with the program and start saying it right - no need to continue the disagreement. ( Don't we have better things to fight over?) And the top words - Obama -mess and Palinism. But here's an irionic twist - the word of the year is a Palinism - refudiate.
And once again, this time of year brings out the best careers for next year. Yeah, like we are all going to suddenly be able to get one of these jobs. This list comes from the Labor Department and Challenger, Gray and Christmas. And to quote Gomer Pyle " surprise ,surprise , surprise" dry cleaner is not on the list. But here are some of the best careers for 2011: Accountant ( not so shocking since we don't know the taxes for next year)meeting planner, commercial pilot, curator, heating,air conditioning and refrigeration technician, athletetic trainer,school psychologist, emergency management specialist, urban planner, firefighter, hydrologist, meteorologist,and biomedical engineer. See, like we can all just go on over to the airport and say -"hey I'm applying for the pilot job " or head over to fire department and yell " hand me the hose boys ". So here's my thinking the best job for 2011 - is the one you've got.
Speaking of jobs - did you know how hard a clown works? Well, performers in New York's traveling Bindlestiff Family Circus protested in October against the political language referring to Washington D.C. Kinko the Clown was upset about referring to D.C. as a circus and said " Before you call anyone in Washington a clown, consider how hard a clown works."( I cannot improve on that one - I mean when clowns are insulted by us for comparing them to politicians - what could I possibly say to improve on that) And clowns = politician . Yep, Grumpy, a professional clown was elected by a resounding vote to the Brazilian Congress from Sao Paulo in October. Grumpy's slogan was "It Can't Get Any Worse". So don't call politicians clowns unless they really are ,in fact, clowns.
The $110 billion dollar new $100. What? Well, the Federal Reserve ( Ron Paul will love this) designed a new high -tech $100. To combat counterfeiting the bill had a 3-D secruity ribbon. Sounds good right? However, the bills crease during printing leaving blank places on the new bill. Needless, to say they cannot be use - so now $110 billion of $100's are in quarantine ( their words not mine). So the notes cannot be put in circulation but are sitting in lockup in Fort Worth and Washington D.C. How much was QE-2 supposed to inject into the economy? Maybe this is God's way of saying " Ben Bernanke - Do not print money you don't have" Oh , Ron Paul , next year will be oodles fun for you.
The FBI has issued a "cyber crime alert" for Barbie. No, this is not a joke - Barbie is on the FBI list. "Barbie Video Girl" could be a possible child pornography production method. The $49.99 Barbie was nominated for 2011 Toy of Year. Barbie has a video camers built in her. So girls can record video from dolls -eye view and then watch it on the LCD screen on Barbie's back or upload the video to a computer. Has Barbie been used for child porn - nope. Steve Dupre from the FBI Sacremento field office said " there have been no incidents of this doll being used as anything other than its intent. So why the alert? I guess poor Barbie with her outrageously curvy body that gives young girls unrealistic expectations and body dismorphia is now really a porno queen. My thought - I had a Barbie and I still have a realistic view of my body - ( chubby and as I grow older things are moving south much like the U.S. population) So why give creeps and idea that they surely would have never thought of themselves. Sometimes, Barbie is just a Barbie and she always just a doll.
Green news ..... Want a cheap way to keep that Christmas tree lit? Get an eel. Yes, an eco -friendly electric eel can light your tree. In Kamakura, Japan an electric eel at the aquarium has been lighting the tree for 5 years. Each time the eel moves, two aluminum panels gather enough electricity to light up the 6 foot tall tree. Visitor Sumie Chibe found it fascinating but questioned the practicality of eel eregy for domestic use. A big DUH !!!!!! to that ,Ms. Chiba.
And now fashion news and other icky things to do with clothes and clothing care. In an aticle on "Sneaky Reasons You Get Zits" one sneaky reason was your pillowcase and towel. Your face lies on that pillowcase for hours and if it's not clean you are pressing in dead skin and bacteria onto your skin. GROSS! If your towel is dirty (even if you are shower -clean) you're wiping germs on your face. So , the International Dermal Institute, suggests changing your pillowcases once or twice a week and changing your towel daily. ( I feel it necessary to interject - we clean and press those pillowcases and kill all those nasty germs and bacteria .And because we use products you cannot and press them at a higher temperature that you can at home - well if I was doing your Pillowcases you could cross this off the Zit list)
Do you use fabric softeners and dryer sheets? Also on the the sneaky zit list. Why? The stuff that makes your clothes softer is tallow. And what is tallow? Tallow is ....... ANIMAL FAT. So needless to say wiping animal fat all over your face is not a great idea. Oh, let's be honest who in the hell wants to sleep with or wear animal fat?
The answer to Who wants to wear animal fat is ........ Lady Gaga . Ok but not not just fat - real meat. Yes, apparently Lady Gaga wore a meat dress to the VMAs. By meat dress ,I mean real meat like at the butcher case in the grocery. When asked why she said " Well, it is certainly no disprect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian. As you know, I am the most judgement-free human being on the earth. However, it has many interpreatations but for me this evening. If we don't 't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And, I am not a peice of meat." If none of that made sense to you - well join the club. So , I wonder if meat and produce dresses will catch on. I ponder this because I know some damn idiot will pay $5000 for a carrot top dress and then bring it to me for cleaning. ( you knew I couldn't end the year with out mentioning care labels) So can you imagine what that must have smelled like under all those lights? I guess the care label would read "BBQ after use." So I guess hats off ( yes, she had a meat hat, purse and shoes) to Lady Gaga for the tastiest dress and raw talent.
Under the oooh!ICK! file. Ghana plans to enforce a ban on the sale of second- hand underwear. Remember the song Second Hand Rose - well doesn't this put new meaning to that? In Accra, the capital of Ghanna street vendors sell second -hand undies. Believe it or not, vendors are upset by the enforceement of the 1994 ban. "People patronise my goods because they are not expensive as compared to the new ones in the market,"said Kwesi QAmin. "The government must consider the plight of the poor and change their decision." O.k. - what more can one say other than Ick !!!
And now on to the TSA. Since the introduction of the nudie scanners or the TSA feel-up, we have seen fly-wear. Yep, (maybe that should be on the list of 2010 words) scantily dressed folks with nothing left covered to conceal anything. You've seen the pictures of the lady wearing a bra and panties in her wheel chair or guys in the fruit of looms. So maybe there should be a seperate line at airport for folks wearing fly-wear. If you wear someting that ,as my mama used to say, leaves nothing to the imagination , maybe the TSA should just send you on through. Just a thought. But for those of us whose bikini days are long behind us ( because our long behind would frighten other passengers), there are scanner -proof undies. Yep if you are worried about those new security scanners filming your privates - there are new anti-radiation underwear. Colorado company, Rocky Flats Gear, sells undies with a fig leaf over your sensitvie areas. The fig leaves block natural and man - made radiation. According to the company web site www.rockyflatsgear.com " The technology insures privacy of medical and body scanner images". So, if you don't want any one touching your "junk" - you can wear nothing but your skivvies or you can wear scanner-proof skivvies.
And that friends, is the crazy corner of mind. As we end 2010 - this is the weird, wild and wacky stuff that caught my attention. So before this becomes and Obama-mess and I am forced to refudiate all of the above nuttiness - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year .
Monday, November 22, 2010
Let's Talk Turkey (and gravy and cranberry stains)
O.K. Let's talk turkey. Where did that come from ? What the heck did they mean by talking turkey- Gobbling? Nope! Actually it originally meant a nice chat similar to the ones around the dinner table at Thanksgiving. But like most phrases over time it changed to skip the niceties and get on with the important stuff. So let's skip the pleasantries and get on with the turkey talk.
Most of you know, Ben Franklin wanted the turkey as the national symbol.He also thought the rattlesnake would make a good symbol. He felt the rattlesnake was an appropriate symbol or "the temper and conduct of America". ( after the last election and the revolt at the airports of the naked scanners and the grope - he may have been right.)So now I will digress - heard a great joke about the TSA-can't see London can't see France unless I see your underpants. O.K. just one more no shirt - no shoes - no problem. But back to Ben and the turkey. He was talking about a wild turkey and not the inbred butterball. He thought the turkey to be "a true original Native of America." "Though a little vain and silly, a bird of courage."Poor Ben, little did he know we would be eating them every Thanksgiving.
So some fun turkey facts. The turkey is the only native poultry breed of the Western Hemisphere. Turkeys have great hearing skills but no ears. Turkeys can see in colors( how they know this is beyond me) have excellent visual acuity and their fields of vision spans about 270 degrees. Turkeys have poor sense of smell but a great sense of taste.Wild turkeys can fly at a speed of 55 miles per hour over short distances and can run 25 miles per hour. Domestic turkeys ( the butterballs) are so sensitive that they can drown by looking up while it is raining and can have heart attacks due to sudden shocks. I don't know about you but those last two facts make me feel less guilty about eating mine on Thursday.
Now let's say while you are eating the turkey,gravy,cranberries etc. - some spills down your shirt or on the tablecloth. Just remember turkey and gravy have oil based stains and don't just wash these. (oil and water don't mix) The stain will wash out but not the oil and that will leave a darker spot on the clothes where the turkey or gravy stain once was. Cranberry makes a great red dye.( many old and antique quilts were dyed with natural fruits, vegetables, and herbs) So be sure and treat cranberry like a dye. But most of all , don't worry about any of those stains - we can get them out.
So eat ,drink and enjoy your family. I love Thanksgiving. I love a holiday that requires nothing more than family and good food. So enjoy your Thanksgiving. Watch the parade, the football games and be glad that you can spend the day with the people you love. I know - we will. Have a safe , delicious and great Thanksgiving. While this may have been a trying year ( economy and all) it is nice to spend a day remembering what we should be really thankful for - this country, our family and friends, and pumpkin pie. ( I know some days we may think that the pie should lead the list but that's great thing about Thanksgiving - everything is put in prespective) Happy Thanksgiving.
Most of you know, Ben Franklin wanted the turkey as the national symbol.He also thought the rattlesnake would make a good symbol. He felt the rattlesnake was an appropriate symbol or "the temper and conduct of America". ( after the last election and the revolt at the airports of the naked scanners and the grope - he may have been right.)So now I will digress - heard a great joke about the TSA-can't see London can't see France unless I see your underpants. O.K. just one more no shirt - no shoes - no problem. But back to Ben and the turkey. He was talking about a wild turkey and not the inbred butterball. He thought the turkey to be "a true original Native of America." "Though a little vain and silly, a bird of courage."Poor Ben, little did he know we would be eating them every Thanksgiving.
So some fun turkey facts. The turkey is the only native poultry breed of the Western Hemisphere. Turkeys have great hearing skills but no ears. Turkeys can see in colors( how they know this is beyond me) have excellent visual acuity and their fields of vision spans about 270 degrees. Turkeys have poor sense of smell but a great sense of taste.Wild turkeys can fly at a speed of 55 miles per hour over short distances and can run 25 miles per hour. Domestic turkeys ( the butterballs) are so sensitive that they can drown by looking up while it is raining and can have heart attacks due to sudden shocks. I don't know about you but those last two facts make me feel less guilty about eating mine on Thursday.
Now let's say while you are eating the turkey,gravy,cranberries etc. - some spills down your shirt or on the tablecloth. Just remember turkey and gravy have oil based stains and don't just wash these. (oil and water don't mix) The stain will wash out but not the oil and that will leave a darker spot on the clothes where the turkey or gravy stain once was. Cranberry makes a great red dye.( many old and antique quilts were dyed with natural fruits, vegetables, and herbs) So be sure and treat cranberry like a dye. But most of all , don't worry about any of those stains - we can get them out.
So eat ,drink and enjoy your family. I love Thanksgiving. I love a holiday that requires nothing more than family and good food. So enjoy your Thanksgiving. Watch the parade, the football games and be glad that you can spend the day with the people you love. I know - we will. Have a safe , delicious and great Thanksgiving. While this may have been a trying year ( economy and all) it is nice to spend a day remembering what we should be really thankful for - this country, our family and friends, and pumpkin pie. ( I know some days we may think that the pie should lead the list but that's great thing about Thanksgiving - everything is put in prespective) Happy Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sleep tight, Don't let the bed bugs bite
Remember that saying? I do but never had a clue what a bed bug was or if there were in fact, bed bugs. But alas, bed bugs are not the invention of the Brothers Grimm or Rod Serling, but real blood sucking creepy bugs that are damn hard to kill. As long as we are mentioning creepy icky bugs - there is the harmless ( except for allergies) dust mite. Then there are those friends of your clothes - the silverfish, moth and carpet beetle ( they love to eat those natural fibers).So what's the poor human to do when surrounded by all these creepy crawlers?
Let's start like the old horror movies - with the least scary first. Then we and the organ music will work our way up to the crescendo of terror - the Freddie Krueger of bugs - the bed bug! So silverfish,moths and carpet beetles - what to do? What to do? OK, they stink something awful and remind you of old ladies but the best deterrent is the good old fashioned moth ball. ( also good for the garden to keep away unwanted pests and the neighbors cat that uses your yard for a litter box)Yep, when putting away those summer or winter clothes a moth ball or two in the drawer or closet will keep away the bugs. But, then there is that smell and yes it is hard to get rid of that smell. So, while very effective it's very stinky ( unless you like that smell - but I have yet to meet the person who does). So let's say you want to protect your clothes and you want to use the moth ball - how do you get rid of the smell so you don't smell like your great -grandma? Expect to take about a month to fully get rid of the smell. DO NOT WASH THE CLOTHES. Yep, you read right - no water - water binds with the chemicals in moth balls and then it's stinko for way longer. HEAT!!!! If your clothes can take a hot iron - iron away. Then put the garment outside to air ( not too long at a time or the sun will bleach the item) and do this for about a month. Also, put a few pieces of charcoal in a metal pan and place in the drawer or closet. If the item is dry clean only or cool iron - ask your dry cleaner if they have an ozone room. About one week in the ozone room and then cleaning will remove the moth ball smell. So you are now thinking " uh too much work - maybe I'll let the little buggers dine on my clothes." No, No, Nannette ( only funny if you are into musicals) there are some other less offensive ( also less effective) remedies. These will work but not on every bug or all the time - but cedar and lavender are also good bug deterrents. You can use cedar planks, cedar bags, or cedar or lavender sachets.Remember, it is the oils in all these products that contain the smell - so don't let them actually touch your garments. But when pulling out your seasonal garments. just air for a few days and heck cedar and lavender actually smell nice.
(Inset organ music here) Yes, I'm asking you to imagine a loud Dum-dum -dum!!!! Dust mites, harmless yet creepy.Dust mites DO NOT CARRY DISEASES. They live primarily on dead skin cells regularly shed from human and their animal pets. OK - here's the obligatory warning - this part may be disturbing to some it contains descriptions of icky stuff!!!!!Beds are the primary habitat of dust mites. A typical mattress may have anywhere from 100,000 to 10 million mites inside.Ten percent of the weight of a two year old pillow can be composed of dead mites and their feces. ICK!!!! Mites prefer warm,moist surroundings like the inside of a mattress when someone is on it. Their favorite food - dander ( both yours and your doggies and kitties skin flakes). humans shed about 1/5 ounce of dander (dead skin) each week. about 80% of those little particles floating in sunbeams is ------not fairy dust but skin flakes. (inert EECK! EECK! EECK! here). So you folks with allergies may be allergic to the dust mites and the most potent allergy dust mite feces. GROSS!!! So what to do? What to do? Vacuum your carpets regularly. Steam clean those carpets annually. For those of you with allergies consider tile or wood flooring. take those throw rugs and area carpets to the cleaners. ( you really don't want that dust mite poo in your carpet) Get your comforters, bed spreads and bed linens cleaned at least twice a year.( if you are allergic to dust mites more monthly would be a good idea) Don't forget your drapes - yep even your drapes and curtains need an annual dust mite cleaning. wash your sheets and pillow cases in hot water. The water need to at 130-140 degrees. Most home hot water heaters are set at 12o - so you can raise the temperature of your hot water heater. Or you can bring me your sheets and pillowcases - we wash and press those sheets killing the mites. And you get freshly pressed sheets without the hassle of trying to figure out how to fold those idiotic fitted ones that usually end up in a giant sheet ball in your closet. So there ya go - No more Mitey Morphine Power Rangers.
And Now ( Insert the hair-raising scream from the beautiful blonde co-ed and Dum Dum Dum)bed bugs. While some folks may have considered Dracula sexy - the vampiric bed bug is just plain disgusting. No stake through their hearts will work and they don't freak out if your crucifix has no effect. These nasty bugs require professional help. CALL THE EXTERMINATOR!!!!! But here's some things you can do - never put new clothes directly into your closet. WHY? No matter what the label or price almost all clothes are from foreign countries - China, Indonesia,etc. These clothes may have bed bugs in them. So put your those clothes in the dryer for at least 20 minutes. The heat will kill the bed bugs and their eggs. If the clothes are dry clean only - clean them first. Make sure your cleaners is actually a dry cleaner and not a green cleaners using cold water. COLD WATER WILL NOT KILL BED BUGS. if you find yourself with a bed bug problem - seal your bedding and clothes in air proof bag. Let your dry cleaners know you have bed bugs on those items. They will require special care. Once again, hot water 140 degrees will kill those bed bugs. Sheets and pillow cases need to washed in HOT WATER. Bed Bugs are nasty and bad but you need net be embarrassed - just be careful with newly purchased items. And don't be too embarrassed to call an exterminator and tell your dry cleaner - that's our job.
SO, ( insert rainbow and happy survivors walking into the sunset with sappy violin music) no Love Bugs here, just the creepy kind. But with a few precautions you will survive the horror show and the bed bugs won't bite.
P.S. Since I totally creeped myself out - I decided to give you some help getting rid of those Jeepers Creepers - until Nov 9th - I'm giving you 25% off all household items. that's 25% off sheets and pillow cases, bedspreads, comforters, blankets, rugs and drapes. I couldn't just leave you there all grossed out. DUM DUM DUM!
Let's start like the old horror movies - with the least scary first. Then we and the organ music will work our way up to the crescendo of terror - the Freddie Krueger of bugs - the bed bug! So silverfish,moths and carpet beetles - what to do? What to do? OK, they stink something awful and remind you of old ladies but the best deterrent is the good old fashioned moth ball. ( also good for the garden to keep away unwanted pests and the neighbors cat that uses your yard for a litter box)Yep, when putting away those summer or winter clothes a moth ball or two in the drawer or closet will keep away the bugs. But, then there is that smell and yes it is hard to get rid of that smell. So, while very effective it's very stinky ( unless you like that smell - but I have yet to meet the person who does). So let's say you want to protect your clothes and you want to use the moth ball - how do you get rid of the smell so you don't smell like your great -grandma? Expect to take about a month to fully get rid of the smell. DO NOT WASH THE CLOTHES. Yep, you read right - no water - water binds with the chemicals in moth balls and then it's stinko for way longer. HEAT!!!! If your clothes can take a hot iron - iron away. Then put the garment outside to air ( not too long at a time or the sun will bleach the item) and do this for about a month. Also, put a few pieces of charcoal in a metal pan and place in the drawer or closet. If the item is dry clean only or cool iron - ask your dry cleaner if they have an ozone room. About one week in the ozone room and then cleaning will remove the moth ball smell. So you are now thinking " uh too much work - maybe I'll let the little buggers dine on my clothes." No, No, Nannette ( only funny if you are into musicals) there are some other less offensive ( also less effective) remedies. These will work but not on every bug or all the time - but cedar and lavender are also good bug deterrents. You can use cedar planks, cedar bags, or cedar or lavender sachets.Remember, it is the oils in all these products that contain the smell - so don't let them actually touch your garments. But when pulling out your seasonal garments. just air for a few days and heck cedar and lavender actually smell nice.
(Inset organ music here) Yes, I'm asking you to imagine a loud Dum-dum -dum!!!! Dust mites, harmless yet creepy.Dust mites DO NOT CARRY DISEASES. They live primarily on dead skin cells regularly shed from human and their animal pets. OK - here's the obligatory warning - this part may be disturbing to some it contains descriptions of icky stuff!!!!!Beds are the primary habitat of dust mites. A typical mattress may have anywhere from 100,000 to 10 million mites inside.Ten percent of the weight of a two year old pillow can be composed of dead mites and their feces. ICK!!!! Mites prefer warm,moist surroundings like the inside of a mattress when someone is on it. Their favorite food - dander ( both yours and your doggies and kitties skin flakes). humans shed about 1/5 ounce of dander (dead skin) each week. about 80% of those little particles floating in sunbeams is ------not fairy dust but skin flakes. (inert EECK! EECK! EECK! here). So you folks with allergies may be allergic to the dust mites and the most potent allergy dust mite feces. GROSS!!! So what to do? What to do? Vacuum your carpets regularly. Steam clean those carpets annually. For those of you with allergies consider tile or wood flooring. take those throw rugs and area carpets to the cleaners. ( you really don't want that dust mite poo in your carpet) Get your comforters, bed spreads and bed linens cleaned at least twice a year.( if you are allergic to dust mites more monthly would be a good idea) Don't forget your drapes - yep even your drapes and curtains need an annual dust mite cleaning. wash your sheets and pillow cases in hot water. The water need to at 130-140 degrees. Most home hot water heaters are set at 12o - so you can raise the temperature of your hot water heater. Or you can bring me your sheets and pillowcases - we wash and press those sheets killing the mites. And you get freshly pressed sheets without the hassle of trying to figure out how to fold those idiotic fitted ones that usually end up in a giant sheet ball in your closet. So there ya go - No more Mitey Morphine Power Rangers.
And Now ( Insert the hair-raising scream from the beautiful blonde co-ed and Dum Dum Dum)bed bugs. While some folks may have considered Dracula sexy - the vampiric bed bug is just plain disgusting. No stake through their hearts will work and they don't freak out if your crucifix has no effect. These nasty bugs require professional help. CALL THE EXTERMINATOR!!!!! But here's some things you can do - never put new clothes directly into your closet. WHY? No matter what the label or price almost all clothes are from foreign countries - China, Indonesia,etc. These clothes may have bed bugs in them. So put your those clothes in the dryer for at least 20 minutes. The heat will kill the bed bugs and their eggs. If the clothes are dry clean only - clean them first. Make sure your cleaners is actually a dry cleaner and not a green cleaners using cold water. COLD WATER WILL NOT KILL BED BUGS. if you find yourself with a bed bug problem - seal your bedding and clothes in air proof bag. Let your dry cleaners know you have bed bugs on those items. They will require special care. Once again, hot water 140 degrees will kill those bed bugs. Sheets and pillow cases need to washed in HOT WATER. Bed Bugs are nasty and bad but you need net be embarrassed - just be careful with newly purchased items. And don't be too embarrassed to call an exterminator and tell your dry cleaner - that's our job.
SO, ( insert rainbow and happy survivors walking into the sunset with sappy violin music) no Love Bugs here, just the creepy kind. But with a few precautions you will survive the horror show and the bed bugs won't bite.
P.S. Since I totally creeped myself out - I decided to give you some help getting rid of those Jeepers Creepers - until Nov 9th - I'm giving you 25% off all household items. that's 25% off sheets and pillow cases, bedspreads, comforters, blankets, rugs and drapes. I couldn't just leave you there all grossed out. DUM DUM DUM!
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