Goodbye 2010 Hello Twenty Eleven

Another year is gone and now we start all over. So this blog is assorted stuff that happened this year. Some of it will relate to clothes but some of it is just plain strange. So allow me to let you in to that portion of my brain that finds this stuff amusing.

Words. yes, you read that right -words. For some reason each year about this time - some one feels the need to let us know there are new words, popular words and the word of the year. Hence, the twenty eleven in the title of this blog. Apparently that is what we will all be calling the next year. According to the Global Language Monitor ( can you believe that group exists? I think it's a guy in his undies typing on his computer but ....he and or they made Reuters) the world has " moved away from disagreement over how to pronounce the first years of the decade"( did you know there was a disagreement? I feel foolish - I didn't) But next year is twenty eleven. So get with the program and start saying it right - no need to continue the disagreement. ( Don't we have better things to fight over?) And the top words - Obama -mess and Palinism. But here's an irionic twist - the word of the year is a Palinism - refudiate.

And once again, this time of year brings out the best careers for next year. Yeah, like we are all going to suddenly be able to get one of these jobs. This list comes from the Labor Department and Challenger, Gray and Christmas. And to quote Gomer Pyle " surprise ,surprise , surprise" dry cleaner is not on the list. But here are some of the best careers for 2011: Accountant ( not so shocking since we don't know the taxes for next year)meeting planner, commercial pilot, curator, heating,air conditioning and refrigeration technician, athletetic trainer,school psychologist, emergency management specialist, urban planner, firefighter, hydrologist, meteorologist,and biomedical engineer. See, like we can all just go on over to the airport and say -"hey I'm applying for the pilot job " or head over to fire department and yell " hand me the hose boys ". So here's my thinking the best job for 2011 - is the one you've got.

Speaking of jobs - did you know how hard a clown works? Well, performers in New York's traveling Bindlestiff Family Circus protested in October against the political language referring to Washington D.C. Kinko the Clown was upset about referring to D.C. as a circus and said " Before you call anyone in Washington a clown, consider how hard a clown works."( I cannot improve on that one - I mean when clowns are insulted by us for comparing them to politicians - what could I possibly say to improve on that) And clowns = politician . Yep, Grumpy, a professional clown was elected by a resounding vote to the Brazilian Congress from Sao Paulo in October. Grumpy's slogan was "It Can't Get Any Worse". So don't call politicians clowns unless they really are ,in fact, clowns.

The $110 billion dollar new $100. What? Well, the Federal Reserve ( Ron Paul will love this) designed a new high -tech $100. To combat counterfeiting the bill had a 3-D secruity ribbon. Sounds good right? However, the bills crease during printing leaving blank places on the new bill. Needless, to say they cannot be use - so now $110 billion of $100's are in quarantine ( their words not mine). So the notes cannot be put in circulation but are sitting in lockup in Fort Worth and Washington D.C. How much was QE-2 supposed to inject into the economy? Maybe this is God's way of saying " Ben Bernanke - Do not print money you don't have" Oh , Ron Paul , next year will be oodles fun for you.

The FBI has issued a "cyber crime alert" for Barbie. No, this is not a joke - Barbie is on the FBI list. "Barbie Video Girl" could be a possible child pornography production method. The $49.99 Barbie was nominated for 2011 Toy of Year. Barbie has a video camers built in her. So girls can record video from dolls -eye view and then watch it on the LCD screen on Barbie's back or upload the video to a computer. Has Barbie been used for child porn - nope. Steve Dupre from the FBI Sacremento field office said " there have been no incidents of this doll being used as anything other than its intent. So why the alert? I guess poor Barbie with her outrageously curvy body that gives young girls unrealistic expectations and body dismorphia is now really a porno queen. My thought - I had a Barbie and I still have a realistic view of my body - ( chubby and as I grow older things are moving south much like the U.S. population) So why give creeps and idea that they surely would have never thought of themselves. Sometimes, Barbie is just a Barbie and she always just a doll.

Green news ..... Want a cheap way to keep that Christmas tree lit? Get an eel. Yes, an eco -friendly electric eel can light your tree. In Kamakura, Japan an electric eel at the aquarium has been lighting the tree for 5 years. Each time the eel moves, two aluminum panels gather enough electricity to light up the 6 foot tall tree. Visitor Sumie Chibe found it fascinating but questioned the practicality of eel eregy for domestic use. A big DUH !!!!!! to that ,Ms. Chiba.

And now fashion news and other icky things to do with clothes and clothing care. In an aticle on "Sneaky Reasons You Get Zits" one sneaky reason was your pillowcase and towel. Your face lies on that pillowcase for hours and if it's not clean you are pressing in dead skin and bacteria onto your skin. GROSS! If your towel is dirty (even if you are shower -clean) you're wiping germs on your face. So , the International Dermal Institute, suggests changing your pillowcases once or twice a week and changing your towel daily. ( I feel it necessary to interject - we clean and press those pillowcases and kill all those nasty germs and bacteria .And because we use products you cannot and press them at a higher temperature that you can at home - well if I was doing your Pillowcases you could cross this off the Zit list)

Do you use fabric softeners and dryer sheets? Also on the the sneaky zit list. Why? The stuff that makes your clothes softer is tallow. And what is tallow? Tallow is ....... ANIMAL FAT. So needless to say wiping animal fat all over your face is not a great idea. Oh, let's be honest who in the hell wants to sleep with or wear animal fat?

The answer to Who wants to wear animal fat is ........ Lady Gaga . Ok but not not just fat - real meat. Yes, apparently Lady Gaga wore a meat dress to the VMAs. By meat dress ,I mean real meat like at the butcher case in the grocery. When asked why she said " Well, it is certainly no disprect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian. As you know, I am the most judgement-free human being on the earth. However, it has many interpreatations but for me this evening. If we don't 't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And, I am not a peice of meat." If none of that made sense to you - well join the club. So , I wonder if meat and produce dresses will catch on. I ponder this because I know some damn idiot will pay $5000 for a carrot top dress and then bring it to me for cleaning. ( you knew I couldn't end the year with out mentioning care labels) So can you imagine what that must have smelled like under all those lights? I guess the care label would read "BBQ after use." So I guess hats off ( yes, she had a meat hat, purse and shoes) to Lady Gaga for the tastiest dress and raw talent.

Under the oooh!ICK! file. Ghana plans to enforce a ban on the sale of second- hand underwear. Remember the song Second Hand Rose - well doesn't this put new meaning to that? In Accra, the capital of Ghanna street vendors sell second -hand undies. Believe it or not, vendors are upset by the enforceement of the 1994 ban. "People patronise my goods because they are not expensive as compared to the new ones in the market,"said Kwesi QAmin. "The government must consider the plight of the poor and change their decision." O.k. - what more can one say other than Ick !!!

And now on to the TSA. Since the introduction of the nudie scanners or the TSA feel-up, we have seen fly-wear. Yep, (maybe that should be on the list of 2010 words) scantily dressed folks with nothing left covered to conceal anything. You've seen the pictures of the lady wearing a bra and panties in her wheel chair or guys in the fruit of looms. So maybe there should be a seperate line at airport for folks wearing fly-wear. If you wear someting that ,as my mama used to say, leaves nothing to the imagination , maybe the TSA should just send you on through. Just a thought. But for those of us whose bikini days are long behind us ( because our long behind would frighten other passengers), there are scanner -proof undies. Yep if you are worried about those new security scanners filming your privates - there are new anti-radiation underwear. Colorado company, Rocky Flats Gear, sells undies with a fig leaf over your sensitvie areas. The fig leaves block natural and man - made radiation. According to the company web site www.rockyflatsgear.com " The technology insures privacy of medical and body scanner images". So, if you don't want any one touching your "junk" - you can wear nothing but your skivvies or you can wear scanner-proof skivvies.

And that friends, is the crazy corner of mind. As we end 2010 - this is the weird, wild and wacky stuff that caught my attention. So before this becomes and Obama-mess and I am forced to refudiate all of the above nuttiness - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year .